Jessica, 22, scorpio, aspiring international journalist. I'm from California but I left my soul in Italy. I like language & culture, art, literature, nature and people in the nude. My deepest passions are poetry and travelling.
I kind of knew shit was going to hit the fan at some point. I knew I couldn’t be with you forever or for even extensive amounts of time. I am on a different path than you and I’ve known that from the beginning.
People come together even if they know that the relationship doesn’t have the potential to work out for the long run. I know that I’ve done it plenty of times… Even knowing that I’m not going to change or try to change you to make it work. Even when I know from the start we are going to fail. Because in between the beginning and the end there are great memories and moments that are worth the inevitable heartbreak at the end of the relationship. Most relationships in a person’s life are not defined by infinity. They are short periods of time you have to laugh, love and grow with somebody before you have to say goodbye.
The problem is I thought we would have more time. I wanted more time. I’m not ready to let you go and it sucks. I have put my heart into you and this relationship but I have not got the time I bargained it for.
I miss you already. I’ve been missing you since the beginning.
watching Die Hard
fuck you if you don’t think it’s a christmas movie
Thanksgiving this year was the first one where we didn’t spend it with the rest of the family. It was just me, my mom, dad and brother. Instead of the traditional turkey dinner we did German thanksgiving instead (my dad’s German) I think I’ve been avoiding thinking ‘bout it but yesterday got me thinking if things will ever be the same again with my grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins. I actually know it never will be but like I said I avoid thinking about it most of the time. I think the answer that I struggle with more is whether or not I give a shit. I mean these people have treated me and my family pretty shitty for pretty much my entire life. If a friend treated me half as bad as they have I would have told them to fuck off a long time ago. Should I care about their existence in my life just because they’re ‘family’? Most people would say yes but maybe my tolerance for family mediated bullshit is lower than most peoples. I’ve had enough.
Despite all that, thanksgiving this year was really great. I love being with my pops ma and brudder. I also got to see some of my closest friends. We ate and drank extremely well and there was always a log on the fire. Man did I miss me some schnitzel too!
I guess even though my extended family kinda sucks, I really am thankful for my immediate family. We are all so close. There is nothing like the feeling of being at home especially during the holidays. At least I know the good things haven’t changed
just to get to your
because they taste like sugar cane
and home on Christmas morning.
between the breathless whispers that dance
among the conjoined jaws, the breasts against chest,
thigh against pelvic bone and girth,
I’d like to tell you all the things you mean to me,
if only so that you would smile
with but a pin prick of the giddy warmth and
soundless laughter I feel
when you look into my
I fucking love this holiday!
This weekend is going to be a crazy one. Today I am going to a house party and going to see the loves of my life (hayleeonfire.tumblr.com)! I am dressing up as an alien jedi. I’m actually at school right now, dressed up as a jedi. I love that university courses give extra credit for festive students.
Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday so I’ll be driving home for that to see my brother and parents. Saturday we are having a partay hartay and pie. Oh god the pie.
Then Sunday I have to return back here. I am moving into a new house with five young fellas. It should be an interesting three months :)
Midterm on Monday, Star Wars video due Tuesday and article for my uni’s arts magazine due Wednesday. Dunno how I’m going to pull it off.
The life of a journalist: pulling everything out of your ass at the last minute
Be prepared for Halloween SPAM I have been saving up for the last month :)
From my new short story
I finished my term 9-page term paper and I have a midterm tomorrow that I have not studied for once and I just can’t get myself to get down and do it. AAGGGHHH
The head of the art department at my uni just emailed me (FINALLY) to let me know that one of the figure drawing professors needs a model for a 9-day session this month!! I filled out an application to do nude modeling a couple months ago and haven’t heard from them until now. The sessions are from 12-230 but I can only do 1-230 as I have a class until 1 on the days they requested. Fuckin’ fuck I hope that they can adjust the schedule a bit so that I can do it.
I have been wanting to do this for years but there was always something holding me back (ok it was my ex-boyfriend, damn him)
Anyway, I am feeling very liberated and awesome and hopeful.